Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Christmas Letters

     Dear family and friends:
     Another year has snuck up on us. It feels as if I just mailed out last year’s cards a month ago… I’m sure you feel the same way.
     Well, where to begin? We are all healthy, for which we are grateful, and I hope the same for you.
     Lizzy started sixth grade, easily transitioning from elementary to middle school. At first she was a little nervous, but with her amazing social skills and outgoing spirit she made so many friends already that she doesn’t even know what to do with them. Lizzie has progressed to the third highest level in Irish Dancing after only five years and she is taking three classes a week, which takes us all over New Jersey. We just picked out a new solo dress for competition. The price for these custom-made, hand-sewn dresses from Ireland has reached phenomenal heights, and therefore we decided to buy the new bedroom set next year. But if you want your kids to be successful, you have to pay the price, am I right? In Girl Scouts she has completed the Bronze Award and has nearly filled her vest to capacity with all the badges she earned. Of course she has made the Honor Roll again in almost every quarter and I think I will soon have the bitter-sweet pleasure of going bra shopping with my baby. Imagine!
     Brian and Marcus are in their junior year of high school and next year at this time we’ll be deciding on colleges. The two have a pretty good idea where they want to go and what they want to do, but things are still open to change. I mean, I’m not even sure what I want to do yet, haha. Life is full of surprises.
     Brian has been accepted to the National Honor Society of Art and wants to study something in that field, but we’re hoping to persuade him into going for a more traditional career. I think he would make a good dentist, with his fine hands, but we shall see. He has started a club at his school, teaching art to students one afternoon a week. He is quite the leader. His grades are off the chart and there is no telling how far he will go. In the fall and spring he is involved in drama club and will be starring as an angel in the upcoming musical, ‘Rent’.
     Marcus of course is still swimming and it is his second year as a team captain. He’s in incredible shape! He almost made the Honor Roll and is going to build a house with Habitat for Humanity during Spring Break. In addition, both boys are working on their Eagle Scout rank.
As you can see, we are very busy and Peter and I are reduced to little more than taxi drivers and human ATM machines. Just kidding. We enjoy watching the kids succeed and couldn’t be more proud.
We hope that all is well with you and your loved ones.
To a successful Holiday Season,
Love, the Hamiltons

     Two months later, on opening night for the rock opera ‘Rent’, Brian applied his own make-up and taped the microphone around his head.  He peeked out into the audience and saw his parents, Lizzy, and Marcus with his girl friend sitting in the front row. The curtain rose. Brian played the part of the flamboyant homosexual Angel Dumott Schunard surprisingly well.
When he came home that night, still glowing with the high after a great performance, his parents were waiting up for him in the parlor. The fireplace was cold but the floor lamp gave off a dim light in the darkness that engulfed the rest of the house.
     “Hey Brian, why don’t you sit down,” his father said and pointed to a chair. “We want to ask you something.”
     Brian knew what was coming. He sat down and looked his mother square in the face. The seconds in the grandfather clock ticked by noisily.
     “Brian,” his no-nonsense father said, clearing his throat, “your mother and I were wondering…are you…gay?”
     Tears shot into Brian’s eyes as he leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling, his fingers digging into the chair’s upholstered armrest. “Yes,” he nodded finally, “I am.”
     His mother pressed her hands to her mouth and stifled a sob, then pulled her legs up and lay on the couch. She buried her face in a pillow and covered her ears, trying to grapple with the truth that just entered their perfect world. His dad leaned against the mantle of the fireplace and stared out into the moonless night. Only the ticking of the clock metronomed the silence.
     Brian looked at his parents and said: “Now I want to ask you something. Do you still love me?”

     He went upstairs to wash his face. The streaked mask of a crying clown stared back at him from the mirror. Brian splashed hot water onto it, lathered it with soap, and rinsed for two minutes. When he looked at his face again it was scrubbed clean and pink and shiny. Before Brian retired to his room he heard his brother’s Mustang roar up the driveway.

     Marcus turned on the hallway light and dropped the keys onto the foyer table. His parents were still up, sitting in the dark.
     “Hey, what’s up?” Marcus asked when he walked in. He turned on the light in the parlor. “Where’s Brian?”
     His mother seemed upset but tried to smile and patted the seat next to her. “Sit down.” She brushed over his hair. “Did he ever tell you that he is gay?”
     Marcus took a deep breath, stretched out his legs, and folded his hands behind his head. “I watched it unfold. He had two girlfriends in middle school, which didn’t last long, of course. He went out with Brianna in junior high until she dumped him for a …you know…lesbian. Then he hung out with a guy who bragged about being bi. But no, he never told me. Is he upstairs?”

     Marcus knocked on Brian’s door and waited patiently until he answered. Brian had his back turned to him and stared at the wall. Marcus put his hand on his twin brother’s shoulder and said:        
     “Of course they still love you. They’re just worried, with AIDS and all.”
     “And what others will think.”
     “Well yeah, that too. They’ll get over it. They just had no idea, it takes time,” Marcus said.
     “And you?”
     “What about me?”
     “Did you know? Are you ashamed of me?” Brian asked.
     “I’m not ashamed of you, Bri. Hell, seems like everyone is coming out these days. Just be careful, okay. Aren’t you glad it’s out, though?”
     “No. I wanted to wait until college. It’ll be so weird around here.”

     Brian told Lizzy privately the next day and she gave her brother a hug, wrapping her arms around his waist. He bent down and kissed her on the head.
     “Time for your dancing, isn’t it, princess?”
     A shadow crossed Lizzy’s face. “I don’t feel good. I don’t want to go today,” she said.
     “It’s not up for discussion, you already missed last week, I’m not paying for not going,” Mom said and dragged Lizzy out of the kitchen.

     A few weeks later, Lizzy struggled through her dinner.
     “What’s the matter, pumpkin? Hurry up, you have to get ready for your Irish dance class,” Dad said.
     Lizzy hung her head and put her fork down. “Mom, I want to tell you something. I…I don’t want to dance anymore. I want to play basketball like Hailey.”
     Mom turned pale and clenched her fists. She threw the napkin down and left the table.

     Dad found Mom on the bed, crying, and sat next to her. He rubbed her back until she calmed down.
     “Why are our children so stubborn,” she asked. “We offer them the best choices in life and they’re throwing them away.”
     “No, Leah, they’re not throwing them away, they’re trying to make their own. We have to back off and not live our lives through them. She doesn’t want to dance anymore, she said she only does it for you. If you like it so much, why don’t you take classes?”
     “With my two left feet? I can’t dance to save my life, you know that. I only like… oh, I don’t even know. I’m forty years old and still don’t know what I want to do with my life.”
     “Why don’t you think about it and figure it out?”Dad said.

     When the kids came home from school the next day, the dining room table was covered with fabrics and thread spools and needles and books full of quilting patterns. Mom sat on the floor, happily cutting fabric into strips.
      “What are you making, Mommy?” Lizzy asked and reverently touched the smooth, colorful fabric.
      “Well, when I was a little girl, I just loved to knit and sew. When my mother took me to the craft store I could have spent hours looking at all the beautiful yarns and fabrics. She always let me pick out a new ball of yarn. I would go home and knit little sweaters and blankets for my dolls, just the way my grandma taught me,” Mom explained while cutting. “One day I made a whole bunch of squares in all different colors and sewed them together into a quilt. It was too big for my doll and too small for me so I just had it lying around in my room. But I remember how happy I was working on it and I always wanted to learn how to make a real quilt for myself. I just never got around to it. So now I decided to learn and make many beautiful quilts in all kinds of patterns.”
      “Ooh, I want to make one, too!” Lizzie said with shiny eyes.

     Dear family and friends:
     Once again, another wonderful year is coming to an end. We are all doing fine. The twins have been accepted to their colleges of choice and are very excited. Marcus’s swim team took 2nd place in the state and he’s leaving his last season on a positive note. Brian keeps growing so much as an artist and we have decorated the whole house with his amazing paintings. He and his partner are planning an exhibit before going to college and the two are working very hard at organizing the event.
     Lizzy is so happy playing basketball and never misses a practice. She has been working alongside me on quilts for her brothers to take with them to college, made from everyone’s old jeans cut into squares, sewn together, and backed with fleece (Tie-dyed for Brian, a soaring eagle for Marcus). This way they will always have a memory of home.
     And this leads us to what I have been up to during the past year: I’ve started taking classes on learning how to quilt and it has given me tremendous joy and pleasure. My new hobby has taken me to the Amish country to learn from the pros and I have created my own pattern, called ‘Mother’s Delight’. I will enter it in the county fair this summer and expect it to win ‘Best of Show’. I am so excited!
     Peter started running earlier this year and has built up to marathon level. As a matter of fact, he already participated in two, one in Pennsylvania and one in New York. His goal is to run a marathon in each one of the fifty states. I will save the t-shirts from the events and sew them into a quilt to hang on the wall in his office. What a great way to see your accomplishments!
     Well, we are happier and healthier than ever and look forward to every new day. I wish for each of you to find your groove in the coming year. It’s not too late to add to your New Year’s list of resolutions.
Happy Holidays, love and peace,
The Hamiltons



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